" you disrupted the predictable pattern of my life, and although uncertainties and changes can be quite uncomfortable, a life is only a paper puppet show without them."
"meet me in Cognito baby,
in Cognito we'll have nothing to hide.
let's go incognito honey,
and let the world believe that we've died."
Friday, July 20, 2007
this padded room of safety confinement has a new addition
one that won't be forgotten
can't be taken away with the trash
this intruder has forced its way
into the darkest depths of my brain and soul
nagging for my attention
what once was solitude is now loneliness
rendered incapable to survive on my own
as much as i love this new cellmate
who wraps me up tight
i hate him for the fact that my strength is weakening
that i need his presence to feel whole
i dream about the day he moves on from my cell
transfers to a room with a view
leaves me with nothing but my own shadow
and i can't bear the pain
take me away with you for the sake of safety in numbers
take my heart so i feel no more
for without you dear stranger
i will never be complete again
you
you ask me not to love you
but it's you who said it first
you tell me you can survive better on your own
but it's me you can't sleep without
you tell me i make everything difficult
but it's you who has done the damage
i don't want to need you
but i am forced
by my own aching brain
you let me into your world
gave yourself to me
let my soul fill your unfinished heart
so what do you want me to do now
leave with a desperation
give you false love so you may walk away with ease?
that would be a tragic end to us all....
but it's you who said it first
you tell me you can survive better on your own
but it's me you can't sleep without
you tell me i make everything difficult
but it's you who has done the damage
i don't want to need you
but i am forced
by my own aching brain
you let me into your world
gave yourself to me
let my soul fill your unfinished heart
so what do you want me to do now
leave with a desperation
give you false love so you may walk away with ease?
that would be a tragic end to us all....
Friday, July 6, 2007
ode to strangers
a friend of a friend wrote this one:
for strangers, i am thankful.
how many millions of forest trees
had i glanced at in passing
before exchanging secrets of life?
before taking their butterscotch scent to my dreams?
before hearing the fears locked inside their swaying needles
that tickle the back of my neck?
before trusting them to filter the drops
from my own inner storms-
bringing out in them the scent of rebirth
before handing them to gravity to anoint my head?
with my eyes on the trail, i did not see,
that under the surface,
our roots embrace and share their meals,
and i am one of you.
with my eyes on the trail,
i could not see
that we both reeeeeeeach our budding arms like toddlers
to wave at the same passing birds and planes.
with my eyes to the sky,
i could never see,
that together
we dig our toes into the earth from which we were born,
letting its ancient, recycling mysteries
squish in every crevice
as we abandon fear of buried broken glass.
with my eyes on the trail,
i failed to see
that together
we bend harmoniously through unexpected storms.
and though summer hail may rip holes in our leaves
where we once harvested the sun,
our roots will explore further into our collective soul
from which we came
and find gifts of sustenance
from the rocks,
the ants,
the remains of our mothers.
we can innocently flirt
as the wind pulls our branches together
if we let our eyes meet in early, care-free summers.
and side by side on hot days,
we can invite squirrels to watch soccer
from our shady shoulders,
and stretch lazily
as they tickle and scratch our dry skin.
we scatter our wisdom
in the form of seeds-
intertwined echoes from anonymous voices,
like the broken shells that create beaches
for swimming and universe pondering.
later, we'll donate the old cones
to children's art projects.
beside each other,
we wait for autumn to bring our womanhood
as we watch our childhood fall from our bodies
in blood-red leaves
raked into backyard mountains
summited by tigers and astronauts on halloween.
and though winter tries
to isolate us from one another with its snow,
wee find humor and joy
in flinging it at an innocent passer-by,
watching it reflect onto the mountains
the shock of his skin
in thousands of frozen suncatchers
as he abandons for a moment
where he came from,
where he was going,
to admire our dusty limbs above.
and when spring arrives,
we praise the subtle growth
of our friends returning home.
and we dance in celebration
as our pores re-open
to share the scent of our blossoms.
and as snow turns to rain,
we ar only able to embrace it but a second
before it is carried on
by the vagabond clouds
to quench the thirst of our distant sisters
with longer or shorter leaves,
rougher or smoother bark,
colored different shades by the same sun.
and maybe we'll enclose a secret note
with the water rising from us
asking what colors
are mirrored in the sunsets there,
and thanking them
for all they give
to those who stop to smell their bark.
for strangers, i am thankful.
how many millions of forest trees
had i glanced at in passing
before exchanging secrets of life?
before taking their butterscotch scent to my dreams?
before hearing the fears locked inside their swaying needles
that tickle the back of my neck?
before trusting them to filter the drops
from my own inner storms-
bringing out in them the scent of rebirth
before handing them to gravity to anoint my head?
with my eyes on the trail, i did not see,
that under the surface,
our roots embrace and share their meals,
and i am one of you.
with my eyes on the trail,
i could not see
that we both reeeeeeeach our budding arms like toddlers
to wave at the same passing birds and planes.
with my eyes to the sky,
i could never see,
that together
we dig our toes into the earth from which we were born,
letting its ancient, recycling mysteries
squish in every crevice
as we abandon fear of buried broken glass.
with my eyes on the trail,
i failed to see
that together
we bend harmoniously through unexpected storms.
and though summer hail may rip holes in our leaves
where we once harvested the sun,
our roots will explore further into our collective soul
from which we came
and find gifts of sustenance
from the rocks,
the ants,
the remains of our mothers.
we can innocently flirt
as the wind pulls our branches together
if we let our eyes meet in early, care-free summers.
and side by side on hot days,
we can invite squirrels to watch soccer
from our shady shoulders,
and stretch lazily
as they tickle and scratch our dry skin.
we scatter our wisdom
in the form of seeds-
intertwined echoes from anonymous voices,
like the broken shells that create beaches
for swimming and universe pondering.
later, we'll donate the old cones
to children's art projects.
beside each other,
we wait for autumn to bring our womanhood
as we watch our childhood fall from our bodies
in blood-red leaves
raked into backyard mountains
summited by tigers and astronauts on halloween.
and though winter tries
to isolate us from one another with its snow,
wee find humor and joy
in flinging it at an innocent passer-by,
watching it reflect onto the mountains
the shock of his skin
in thousands of frozen suncatchers
as he abandons for a moment
where he came from,
where he was going,
to admire our dusty limbs above.
and when spring arrives,
we praise the subtle growth
of our friends returning home.
and we dance in celebration
as our pores re-open
to share the scent of our blossoms.
and as snow turns to rain,
we ar only able to embrace it but a second
before it is carried on
by the vagabond clouds
to quench the thirst of our distant sisters
with longer or shorter leaves,
rougher or smoother bark,
colored different shades by the same sun.
and maybe we'll enclose a secret note
with the water rising from us
asking what colors
are mirrored in the sunsets there,
and thanking them
for all they give
to those who stop to smell their bark.
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